Better to return and make a net, than to go down the stream and merely wish for fish. – Chinese Proverb
Our minister is teaching about betrayal through the story of Joseph. He talked about Joseph’s basically arrogant attitude at the beginning and then how, by the time he was in a couple of pits for a while, he basically had the attitude that he couldn’t do anything, but God could. It really reminded me of myself.
A part of me still aches for the vision that I’ve had, but I know that everything is as it should be at this time. The minister said that God will put you on hold while He strengthens your character in order to help it to balance out with your ability. That’s where I’ve been – way more talent and ability than character (but I didn’t think so – alcoholics usually don’t). I’m so grateful that the Holy Spirit continues to reveal the deficiencies in my character to me because that’s how I am able to be transformed. I always tend to get focused on what He wants to do through me and forget about what He is doing in me. Beyond that, I also have tendencies to believe that He is through with what He is doing in me. THERE IS NO ARRIVING – IT’S AN ETERNAL JOURNEY – THE JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION. Why can’t I remember that?
The whole thing is kind of confusing because I’ve always been a huge advocate of the Twelve Steps, but I am learning that there is a place on the journey that all you really have to do is trust God. You have to use self-effort to do work that helps you die to self-effort – another spiritual paradox. Thank God that I have learned that I CAN’T figure it all out.
The Journey Continues
January 21, 2008
Paige Thomas DeHart 
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