Pausing is an uncomfortable experience for me. There is still a deep pain inside of me. I am so ready for God to take it. Less of me, more of Him: none of me, all of Him.
The deep pain is the fear that God will not take care of me. It is the part of me that still does not trust Him. But I cannot change that because my will power cannot conquer self will. I just have to wait and pray; believe and surrender.
The Spirit told me to be patient; that there is major internal reconstruction being done. That is exactly how it feels: like a giant wrecking ball is knocking down walls that have old and heinous stench behind them. There is so much rage and hostility wrapped around that inherent fear of being alone and unloved.
I know that God will unravel all of this. I am ready. May God tear down all of my walls and create a huge empty space that the Spirit may fill.
Unmasked Excerpt
Paige Thomas DeHart 
Leave a Reply