Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’
The Semantics of Spirituality
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged personal growth, self-examination, Spiritual Experience, spiritual journey, spirituality on March 24, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Chakra Meditation
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged personal growth, self-examination, spiritual journey, spirituality on March 24, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Restoration
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged personal growth, sobriety, spirituality on February 15, 2017| Leave a Comment »
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. – Psalm 23:1-3
I keep having drinking dreams. They’re just awful. I’m so grateful to be sober. We watched “The Days of Wine and Roses” the other night. It sent shivers up my spine; especially when they read the preamble from A.A. I felt so grateful and full of awe over the power that A.A. has had in my life; the power that God has had in my life. I’ve come a long way from living in a two-room duplex with trash piled in the corner, the ironing board sitting in the middle of the living room, the cat drinking from the cat box, and the fridge having nothing in it but vodka, wine, and beer. I can’t even believe that person was me, but I remember it. I hope I never forget.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be was happy. I have all I ever wanted and so much more. My life is overflowing with an abundance of love and joy and laughter and friendship. I am whole and complete.
Thank You, God!!!
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Home
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged gratitude, memoir, personal growth, spirituality on February 10, 2017| Leave a Comment »
“What do I want to do in life?”Here I assume a reason for living that is separate from life.- Hugh Prather
The other day I was sitting in my rocker, nursing the baby, and listening to the other kids bicker over homework. I had dinner in the oven and about a million loads of laundry to fold. All I could think was, “This is fun.” Last night, I woke up and realized that what I had been experiencing were the sounds and feelings of a “family;” my family. I guess that’s all I ever really needed; to be a part of a family. It’s not over-rated. I’m so grateful to be experiencing these simple things. I’m so grateful to live! I love my simple, beautiful life!
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Dust In The Wind
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged memoir, personal growth, spirituality on February 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »
One of the acronyms for GOD is “Good Orderly Direction.” I Have confused “direction” with “details.” All I can do each day is face in God’s direction and let go. It’s like being a sailboat and God is the wind. I don’t know which way the wind is going to blow. I just have to concern myself with getting the sails up; not with painting angels on the side of the boat for all to see. All I have to do is live; one day at a time.
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Beautiful Simplicity
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged memoir, personal growth, simplicity, spirituality on February 8, 2017| Leave a Comment »
“God always takes the simplest way” – Albert Einstein
I’ve finally decided that I don’t care if the journal is significant or not. If the work is meant to get organized, it will, but I’m tired of concerning myself with it. Sure, I’m willing to share my experience, strength, and hope, but on the other hand, I’m busy living it. I had a nagging feeling about not having enough time to write. I told myself, “I just have to do something worthwhile.” Then the little voice said, “LIVING YOUR LIFE IS WORTHWHILE.” The little voice is right.
I don’t need the world’s approval for my life to be worthwhile. I just don’t need to be a big deal anymore because being an ordinary human being is enough. My deepest heart’s desire has come true because I’ve found the love, acceptance, and belonging that I believed would come from being “important.”
Who would have thought that being a housewife and mother would hold the secrets and treasures of existence? I wouldn’t have and that point exemplifies exactly just how much I don’t know.
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Self-Acceptance
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged personal growth, self-acceptance, spirituality on February 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »
“Your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.” – Kahlil Gibran
This week has been a rude awakening for me. I get to see how I thrive on crisis: how I love to coax unreasonable men into reasonableness; how I find self-worth in “fixing” other people; how I play God. This whole week had been uncomfortable because my husband has been embracing life rather than resisting it. Immediately I began resisting him, trying to keep the turmoil in action … trying to find some sort of balance.
All of this makes me frantic because I’m seeing that I still have issues; that I suffer from a disease that tells me I don’t have one. My first reaction is to beat up on myself for not being perfect or shame myself because I’m not. Ego! Spiritual Pride! Cocky Self-Assurance! Get behind me, Satan! I guess the bottom line is that God has a gentle way of reminding me that He’s God; not me.
It seems that the deeper I go I find new levels where I have not yet come to believe that I am lovable and worthy. I’m willing, though.
GUESS WHAT? YOU’RE NOT SUPER-HUMAN. YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE. YOU NEED ME AND YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO LOVE YOU. YOU NEED HIM JUST AS MUCH AS HE HAS NEEDED YOU. IT’S OKAY TO NEED PEOPLE.
I feel like such a fool. I can be so grandiose and self-centered.
PRECIOUS CHILD, IT JUST DOESN’T GET ANY BIGGER ON PLANET EARTH THAN BEING A CHILD OF GOD. I LOVE YOU. EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE. RELAX. SURRENDER. LET GO.
I found my security in believing that he needs me to help him and to fix him and to save him. I guess I just realized that he does need me still, but not because of what I can do for him, but for who I am to him. Not doing; being. How many times have I learned that? Our worth comes not from our actions, but from our inherent being. If true to ourselves, then good works just naturally flow. New ideas become old ideas which, when released, give birth to newer ideas ad infinitum. Life’s a trip!
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Extend
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged memoir, personal growth, spirituality on February 4, 2017| Leave a Comment »
“We are not channels, we are instruments. Channels give nothing of their own, they just let water run through them. In our action, we are instruments in God’s hand and He writes beautifully.” – Mother Teresa
No matter what role I play or appearance I project, I am still a spiritual child of God. The challenge is to stay in touch with that. I realize that lately I may have been fooling myself into thinking that my service work begins at home.
I’ve realized that I want or need for nothing, but I can still find discontent within myself. Rather than letting my cup run over, I try to keep from spilling it.
External success can sabotage my spiritual growth. The trick is not to lose myself in prosperity. The bottom line is that it is time to give back what has been so freely given to me; to love my neighbor as I love myself; as God has loved me.
There’s just one deepest heart’s desire that hasn’t been fulfilled yet in my life: to earn an income doing what I love to do; which is allowing God to express Himself through me. I truly believe that if I will extend myself, that dream will materialize; but that is not my motive. I realize that if I don’t extend myself, I will not be happy because my happiness is not contingent on fulfilling my heart’s desire, but upon extending myself to others.
However, I could never really do that with no ulterior motive until my own needs were met. What a catch-22. Anyway, here you go, God. My desire is to earn an income by doing what I love to do. In the meantime, I’ll do it for free. No, I’ll do it for freedom … from the bondage of self.
Please untangle the knots in this heart of mine as You prepare me for my destiny. Make me a instrument of Your peace.
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Remember
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged gratitude, personal growth, spirituality, true identity on February 3, 2017| Leave a Comment »
I think I’m addicted to being a martyr. Why else would I respond more lovingly to my husband when he’s moody and discontented than when he’s balanced and loving? That’s a perplexing question to me. I need clarity here, God. I need You to help me be okay when things are wonderful.
I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of: a wonderful, handsome, loving, successful husband; a beautiful home; the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom to my precious newborn; two beautiful, healthy daughters; sane relationships with the members of my family; and a strong A.A. program that has helped me to not take a drink for over 5 years. I have it all. What the hell’s the matter with me that I want to nit-pick for flaws rather than sing alleluia? Is it because of the responsibility? Is it because it is difficult? It’s because I’m immature!
Help me grow up, God! I don’t want to sour this beautiful man who tries so hard to love me. Help me, God! Help me to count my blessings!
I guess the bottom line is that I haven’t been putting God first, which is the only way that I am capable of remembering who I am. I am a child of God who is here to serve and to love and to be loved.
Once again, I give myself to You, dear God, and ask that You mold me and help my capacity to love expand with all of the changes in my life.
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Love First
Posted in Unmasked Excerpt, tagged personal growth, spirituality on January 31, 2017| Leave a Comment »
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa
This is a difficult time in my life, but it is not characterized with wallowing self-pity and defeat as in the past. I like to compare life to mountain climbing. I have just come to a steep and rocky passage. However, carefully placing one foot in front of the other will lead me to greater clarity and even a higher horizon than before. Experience tells me this and I believe it.
Each day that passes amazes me more and more with my absolute intense gratitude for being sober and for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It truly is a school for living. My husband and I have been doing ministry training for Christian Counseling, but I already know the lessons we are learning. I have already learned to be a God/love-based counselor in A.A. We really are all saying the same thing in different words.
A priest at the church where my husband and I were both raised told My husband that Unity Church is not “Christian.” Who cares what you call yourself? A rose called by any other name would smell as sweet and a person with a heart full of God is just as loving whether called “Christian,” “Buddhist,” or “Alcoholic.”
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Paige Thomas DeHart 