We are ensnared by the wisdom of the serpent;
we are set free by the foolishness of God. – Saint Augustine
Until last night, I had not been to church in many months. I have realized that the pain of my daughter’s relapse last year caused me to isolate within myself; to hide from the pain of loss. However, when I avoid pain, I inevitably deny myself of joy as well. But as always when I stray from my inner reality, I felt the gentle nudging from within to return to a collective gathering; to worship in Spirit and in Truth. The bottom line for me is that I cannot live without the power of the Risen Jesus.
However, attending church was a bit disturbing. The Spirit of the Lord is definitely honored at the church I attend, but I believe that It is hindered by what has become “Truth” in the Christian Church. Last night, the Pastor explained that the “wrath of God” had to be satisfied. Therefore, someone had to pay the price for the sin of mankind. Furthermore, for justice to be served, the person that paid the price had to deserve the punishment. Consequently, Jesus became sin and was brutally punished in return. All of this to demonstrate God’s amazing love for us; the love of the Father.
I have no doubt whatsoever that Jesus is truly the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, but I do not believe that His sacrifice was to satisfy a wrathful Father of Heaven. In almost 30 years, I have never experienced God as angry or wrathful in any way. I believe that Jesus endured the crucifixion to demonstrate that nothing is unforgivable and to understand the full extent of human suffering; that He could ultimately offer Himself into the Matrix of the human experience in order to lead us to Reality.
And I believe that the Love and Mercy of God supersedes any notion of Justice. God did not pay the price for our sin, but took responsibility for it. No one deserves to be punished for making a mistake; and “sin” – great or miniscule – is nothing but “missing the mark” of truth. No “sin” is ever made without the motive of great fear and misunderstanding. For this, God always offers truth for error; if asked.
After church, I felt compelled to offer my two grown daughters my example of exactly how amazing the grace and mercy of God can be. I am a person who has been in recovery for more than twenty-five years, but before recovery, I was a lost and distraught person. During that time, I terminated not one, but three pregnancies. Almost anyone would agree that someone who does something like that does not “deserve” to be a mother. But through the grace of God, I am a mother of two beautiful women who love me very much. I was never punished for my terrible choices – what went around did not come around. With the Love of God, I was only redirected to live on as if the past was gone – truly forgiven; even by myself.
So on this day that commemorates the resurrection of Jesus, remember this: Jesus does not live to bring condemnation, but abundant life. Jesus is the Way to the Kingdom of Heaven; and the Kingdom of Heaven is within you. And Heaven is the realization that any idea of being separated from the Love of God is a terrible nightmare. The Bible says that Adam fell into a deep sleep, but it never mentions His awakening. Awake now, sleeping children, for the love of God can NEVER leave you. God loves each of us as a Mother loves Her only child.
The Journey Continues
April 5, 2015
Easter Sunday