Posts Tagged ‘Saint Augustine’

We are ensnared by the wisdom of the serpent;

we are set free by the foolishness of God. – Saint Augustine

Until last night, I had not been to church in many months.  I have realized that the pain of my daughter’s relapse last year caused me to isolate within myself; to hide from the pain of loss.  However, when I avoid pain, I inevitably deny myself of joy as well. But as always when I stray from my inner reality, I felt the gentle nudging from within to return to a collective gathering; to worship in Spirit and in Truth.  The bottom line for me is that I cannot live without the power of the Risen Jesus.

However, attending church was a bit disturbing.  The Spirit of the Lord is definitely honored at the church I attend, but I believe that It is hindered by what has become “Truth” in the Christian Church.  Last night, the Pastor explained that the “wrath of God” had to be satisfied.  Therefore, someone had to pay the price for the sin of mankind.  Furthermore, for justice to be served, the person that paid the price had to deserve the punishment.  Consequently, Jesus became sin and was brutally punished in return.  All of this to demonstrate God’s amazing love for us; the love of the Father.

I have no doubt whatsoever that Jesus is truly the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, but I do not believe that His sacrifice was to satisfy a wrathful Father of Heaven.  In almost 30 years, I have never experienced God as angry or wrathful in any way.  I believe that Jesus endured the crucifixion to demonstrate that nothing is unforgivable and to understand the full extent of human suffering; that He could ultimately offer Himself into the Matrix of the human experience in order to lead us to Reality.

And I believe that the Love and Mercy of God supersedes any notion of Justice.  God did not pay the price for our sin, but took responsibility for it.  No one deserves to be punished for making a mistake; and “sin” – great or miniscule – is nothing but “missing the mark” of truth.  No “sin” is ever made without the motive of great fear and misunderstanding.  For this, God always offers truth for error; if asked.

After church, I felt compelled to offer my two grown daughters my example of exactly how amazing the grace and mercy of God can be.  I am a person who has been in recovery for more than twenty-five years, but before recovery, I was a lost and distraught person.  During that time, I terminated not one, but three pregnancies.  Almost anyone would agree that someone who does something like that does not “deserve” to be a mother.  But through the grace of God, I am a mother of two beautiful women who love me very much.  I was never punished for my terrible choices – what went around did not come around.  With the Love of God, I was only redirected to live on as if the past was gone – truly forgiven; even by myself.

So on this day that commemorates the resurrection of Jesus, remember this:  Jesus does not live to bring condemnation, but abundant life.  Jesus is the Way to the Kingdom of Heaven; and the Kingdom of Heaven is within you.  And Heaven is the realization that any idea of being separated from the Love of God is a terrible nightmare.  The Bible says that Adam fell into a deep sleep, but it never mentions His awakening.  Awake now, sleeping children, for the love of God can NEVER leave you.  God loves each of us as a Mother loves Her only child.

The Journey Continues

April 5, 2015

Easter Sunday

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Our global population is now approaching 6 billion people.  Another doubling of the population – expected to happen within the next 40 years – will bring us beyond the estimated carrying capacity of earth. – Barbara Marx Hubbard

I have been reading a lot of Christian stuff and the big mystery seems to be how evil could exist if God created everything; why does He allow it?  This brings me back to what I have believed for a long time – that we had to be expelled from the Garden in order to be given the tools to get back and to be able to live there as mature children of God instead of nursing babies.  Like Augustine said, For, were it not good that evil things should also exist, the omnipotent God would almost certainly not allow evil to be, since beyond doubt it is just as easy for Him not to allow what He does not will, as for Him to do what He will.”

Sin is kind of like homeopathic medicine.  It was put into our spirits so we could learn to fight it.  Our identity as being created in the image and likeness of God was allowed to be corrupted in order for us to understand our absolute need for total dependence on God.  God Himself came to earth, demonstrated true obedience unto death, rose from the dead, sits at the right hand of the Father, and sends His Holy Spirit to all who believe in order to restore our identity.

Christianity always aggravated me because it seemed that the Gospel insinuated that a loving God would smite you to hell if you didn’t accept Jesus, but now I get it.  The Bible says, “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.  He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already.” (John 3:17-18) 

We’re already condemned without Jesus!  The “accuser” is holding us hostage—telling us that we’re nothing, that we don’t matter, that the world is not safe, etc.  Condemnation is the captor!

A lot of people can’t accept Jesus as Savior because they don’t really understand that they’re in bondage. That’s a trip.  It reminds me of the movie, The Matrix.  We’re all being held captive in a situation that is so deceptive that we’re not consciously aware of it.  At certain times, we get the creepy feeling that something is not quite right, but we just can’t figure it out.  In the movie, the ones who have broken free offer the “red pill” to the ones who want to know the real truth.  The red pill is like the blood of Jesus.  Hey everybody, take the red pill so we can get out of the matrix!

We all need to understand that the presence of an adversary is real and that the grace of Jesus is the only way to get free of it.  And we need to start believing this ASAP because the planet itself is losing its ability to sustain human life; and Jesus is the only One who can do anything about it because He is the only One who can truly change our hearts and minds and bring us together in cooperative effort.

In the 24 hours since yesterday, over 200,000 acres of rainforest have been destroyed in our world.  Fully 13 million tons of toxic chemicals have been released into our environment.  Over 45,000 people have died of starvation, 38,000 of them children.  And more than 130 plant or animal species have been driven to extinction by the actions of humans…  Recycling won’t save the world, birth control won’t save the world, and saving what little is left of our rainforests won’t save the world…  Even cold fusion and the elimination for the need for oil, with free electricity for everybody, will not “save the world”…   Nothing but changing our way of seeing and understanding the world can produce real, meaningful, and lasting change. – Thom Hartmann

Unmasked Excerpt

The Power of the Cross

January 19, 2003



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God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. – Saint Augustine

It is my prayer that all of us may learn that the one true God desires and is able to meet us where we are with the ultimate purpose of unifying us for the perfection and peace of His world. I encourage you to move through life with honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness to stretch beyond your previous boundaries of knowledge and understanding in order to have a fresh perspective of yourself, your companions in life, and the world in which you live.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” May God Himself lead you personally and profoundly into the deep reality of this statement; into an experience with Him as the endless well of Life, Love, and Truth.  This is the hope of glory.

Unmasked Excerpt



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This is the very perfection of man, to find out his own imperfections. – Saint Augustine

Another year!  2008 was not fun.  I basically spent the whole year feeling sorry for myself because I have to work and because I am getting old.  Last night, I was half asleep and thinking about Hope and Laurel and what they would be like as adults.  The Spirit jumped in and convicted me about how self-centered I have been in thinking that my life is all about me.  He told me that I have been worried about losing my youth, but that I still have plenty of good years ahead of me participating in the lives of the people that I help – which include the lives of my children – and future grandchildren.  I can be such a brat.

I finally finished formatting all of the step work and then decided to work the steps again myself.  In step two, I realized that I have been having a huge crisis of faith.  I basically just turned from the Lord and decided that I will never trust him again.  I also began to believe that God is not as great as I once believed.  Those lies have been tearing me apart.  I am willing to believe that his promises are true – and that no mind can conceive the good that God has planned for those that love Him.  I love Him, but sometimes it is conditional love.  Like I said, I can be such a brat.

I also heard in my spirit that I had to believe really grandiose things in the past or else I would not have had the motivation to hang in there.  Now, just being able to be content in all situations would be enough for me.  I don’t care anything about being special anymore.

Anyway, it’s another new year.  Time flies when you’re a spoiled brat!

The Journey Continues

January 1, 2009


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