Today God showed me that a large part of my separation anxiety with my daughter stems from not experiencing the normal rites of passage that prepare us for the departure of our children into adulthood: getting a driver’s license, learning how to keep a small job, finishing High School, etc. These are the things that I stressed to her that were important, but maybe they were really just important to me; for me to feel safe about her being out in the world without me.
One more time I catch myself playing God; without even knowing it.
God has definitely showed me that I must find my security in Him because my children have had frightening and painful experiences that I could not protect them from; from losing their new Kate Spade wallet, to having their hearts broken, to having a friend commit suicide, to getting shot in the head and dumped on a dead-end road in the dark of night.
God showed me that their experiences are not my experiences: that to assume that I am the guardian of their lives is a discourtesy to them as they find their way in this world with God’s help; just as I found my way.
So, I guess for the first time really, I offer my adult children to You, Lord. I release them that my hands may become empty; that I may hold Your hand. I am reminded by Your unfailing love that for me to continue to be made whole and real, I will be tattered and torn by the most precious love I have for these girls who have become women; made possible only because You first loved me.
Into Your hands I commit our spirits. Fly away, little birds…..
Namaste and Amen
Paige Thomas DeHart 