Posts Tagged ‘Kahlil Gibran’

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. – Kahlil Gibran

My daughter, Hope, was missing for five days this past week.  By yesterday, I had the experience of 99.9% believing that she was dead.  It was the most soul-crushing pain that I have ever experienced.  Last night, she resurfaced with the usual excuses that addicts have for being oblivious to others.  I was so relieved to hear her voice that nothing else mattered.  This morning, I was thinking about these circumstances and posed this question to my Lord of Love: “Why would You let me believe that she was dead?”  Moments later, I had a vivid moment of clarity.

Experiencing the seeming reality of my deepest fear, that my beautiful daughter had been murdered by ruthless criminals, gave me liberty.  In those moments of despair, I knew with certainty that I would survive.  I knew with certainty that God was with me.  I knew with certainty that Hope is an eternal being.

I now know with certainty that the only purpose of this life is to break the shell that encloses my vulnerability; that I may truly love others.

Hope remains a methamphetamine addict.  Hope remains on the streets with dangerous people.  But true Hope will never end; because this world is but a shadow of true reality.  Hope is eternal and lives inside each of us as a brilliant spark of Love.  But we must break the shell that encloses it that the spark may ignite; and understand that the breaking may occur as our worst nightmare.  But Love NEVER fails.

The Journey Continues

September 12, 2014


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But if in your fear you would seek only Love’s peace and Love’s pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of Love’s threshing floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. – Kahlil Gibran

I feel prompted to “capture” this moment, but this is definitely a day when I don’t want to capture myself.  I want to lose myself.  I’m so sick of myself.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately.  I’m still attached to the need for recognition: to the need to “make my mark” – to the belief that I am nothing unless I do something or be somebody “special,” like there’s such a thing.

I just don’t want to own these shadows; yet another part of myself that I hate.  It’s all just a Catch-22.  I hide – the hiding causes pain – the discovery is too painful – I hide – ad infinitum.  Thank God for being Jesus.

He told me to capture all of this so here goes… either I’m some sort of freaked out crazy weirdo or else – welcome inside the mind of all of us.  Welcome to the places we pretend don’t exist.  Welcome to the depths of sorrow and doubt and discouragement and weariness.  Paul had a thorn in his flesh.  I have a porcupine in mine.  It’s like that for us addicts.  I suspect that it’s like that for us humans, but we’re all too busy putting on pretenses to admit it.

I am utterly depressed.  There’s a part of me that’s locked deep inside – screaming bloody murder to get out.  No five mile run, anti-depressant, drink, or drug can stifle the plea within me.  I know her Hero is on His way, but I see today that this is all a part of the experience; becoming seasoned – to be the salt of the earth.

I picked up a dear old friend today, Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet.  It says so beautifully what I have come to understand to be the reality of existence – of walking with the Lord; whose hands can also be a terribly frightening place to be…

“When Love beckons you, follow Him, though His ways are hard and steep.  And when His wings enfold you yield to Him, though the sword hidden among His pinions may wound you.  And when He speaks to you believe in Him, though His voice may shatter your dreams as the North wind lays waste the garden.

For even as Love crowns you so shall He crucify you.  Even as He is for your growth so is He for your pruning.  Even as He ascends to your heights and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall He descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn He gathers you unto Himself.  He threshes you to make you naked.  He sifts you to free you from your husks.  He grinds you to whiteness.  He kneads you until you are pliant; and then He assigns you to His sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All of these things shall Love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only Love’s peace and Love’s pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of Love’s threshing floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.”

Thank You, God.  Thank You for the privilege of suffering. How sweet the pain – and how great the anticipation of its corresponding joy.  For yes, Lord, my pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses my understanding – and I understand this: what good is salt if it has lost its savor?  Thank You for the seasoning. Thank You for the texture. Thank You for giving me the ability to sit in serenity through the seasons of my grief; to wait in peace through the violent blows of the threshing floor.  I stand before You; naked and not ashamed – vulnerable and bleeding, but not afraid. How sweet the taste of sadness, Lord, when contrasted to the ecstasy of just one touch of Your seamless garment.

Unmasked Excerpts

The Power Of The Cross

October 19, 2004


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Your children are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. – Kahlil Gibran

I love motherhood. The person that I am with Laurel is the best person that I’ve ever been – the person I enjoy being. The love I feel for Laurel affirms greater faith in God and new love for myself. One look at her and I know that there’s a God.

As you lay your head to rest,

cradled in the nest of my bosom,

I wonder with awe at the miracle I see

as regal splendor blossoms in eternity.

While bathing in your precious smile,

filled with joy, I get charmed for awhile

as my prayer is affirmed

that man is not lost forever.

With a gentle stroke to your tiny face,

I catch a glimpse of myself

that helps to erase

the hopelessness I’d come to know

for I love you so.

How God must love His children even more.

O, precious, infant child of mine,

you’re all that’s gracious and divine.

You’ve the Light of the world in those sparkling eyes.

You’re one of God’s angels in disguise. – Paige DeHart

Unmasked Excerpt

Slipping Away

December 29, 1987


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My eve was in truth my dawn. – Kahlil Gibran

Last year was a great year, but not because it was joyous.   It was difficult and painful, but I learned.

I tried to read over last year’s entries and bored myself to death with all of the theology.  All of the alone time kept me in my head – trying to figure things out – trying to conceive the inconceivable.  God took care of that.

Last year, Randy and I were brought to a place where all of our best efforts were exposed as filthy rags.  We were forced to let go.  It wasn’t a bold and heroic letting go.  It was one of those things where we tried to hang on, but we finally lost our grips and fell – and God caught us.

Now, we begin a new year and the thing I see so clearly is that I must maintain this letting go.  All kinds of things are stirring up again, but I need to observe myself closely in order to see when I start doing the stirring myself – which I always inevitably do.

Last year taught me that God will do what needs to be done.  The last entry before the shift says that I am finished – that I have come to the end of my self-efforts.  Let that be the truth, Lord.  Like the Casting Crowns song says, “I’ve been trying so hard to stop trying so hard.”  I’m sick and tired of trying to do anything.

I have no clue what to expect from ’08.  I believed that ’07 was the year that so much money would come in that we would need an investment banker.  Instead we lost everything and ended up on food stamps with government insurance for Hope.  Now I say to You, “Thy will be done.”  Glorify Yourself through me.  It doesn’t matter anymore if You exalt me or execute me.  Just have Your way.  I give this year to You as a blank Paige.  Do what You will.

The Journey Continues

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


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