Posts Tagged ‘Hugh Prather’

We are nudged to grow whether we want to or not. – Hugh Prather

I found myself lying on the floor crying because I don’t want to grow up.  That’s what a lot of this fear is all about; taking responsibility for my life and being a mature adult. Those are the things I simply don’t know how to do. This week of staying home and keeping house and being a mother to my child and a mate to my future husband have shown me just how much I really have been avoiding life in the name of recovery.

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Uncharted Waters

October 22, 1991

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Reality eventually forces you to take a second look, and what you see begins to dissolve your selfishness.  You see that you are not alone, that your time will not be spent alone, that your life is in fact many lives, and that no matter how determined you are to make it so, your happiness cannot be solitary.  What you see is that there is something else as important to you as your own life. – Hugh Prather

Things have been beautifully peaceful lately. Life really is so simple.  Love God.  Love yourself.  Love others.  The way to love is to serve with joy.  The willingness to serve with joy comes from forgiveness that extends from the willingness to live and let live.  Above all else, don’t sweat it.  Willingness really is the key.

I made a joke the other day about finding my identity in the midst of Tupperware.  Then it dawned on me that I have found my identity in the midst of being a part of something greater than myself; in the midst of A.A., in the midst of Unity, in the midst of my family.  In my willingness to serve, I found salvation – true freedom.

Life is good.  God is great!

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Becoming Human

March 24, 1997


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The following is dedicated to raise awareness concerning addiction and mental illness: posted in loving memory of Robin Williams and all who have lost their lives or are suffering from mental illness and/or addiction.

It’s not that we fear the place of darkness, but that we don’t think we are worth the effort to find the place of light. – Hugh Prather

I feel terrible right now. I’m so depressed and suicidal again. I need to be in a hospital, but I have my doubts that it will happen. The realization of how sick I am is overwhelming. I am a very sick woman and I don’t seem to be getting any better. My relationships don’t work because of my mental illness and neither does my life. I know that the Twelve Steps have helped people that were as sick as I am, but I still don’t have very much hope. I keep winding down more and more. Once again, I’m caught in the downward spiral. I literally don’t want to get out of bed at this point. I can’t feel any joy. It seems like the whole world is enjoying life without me.

I wish so much that I hadn’t taken that drink, but I’ve got to admit that I feel so bad that I could do it again. But now I see what they mean – there’s no situation so bad that taking a drink won’t make it worse. This too shall pass. I need God. I need support. I need professional help. A sick mind does not heal itself.

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Dark Valley

August 17, 1989

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I want to live from the inside out, not from the outside in. – Hugh Prather

I realize that somewhere along the line, I decided that I should not have to treat him the way I want to be treated.  I felt justified to be shut down with him because of his selfish decisions over the past three years that caused me to have to do more than him in many aspects of our lives.  Anyway, I see that I don’t ever get to take a break from doing the right thing; keeping my side of the street clean, treating others as I want to be treated – not as they treat me.

I have a lot to learn.

The Journey Continues

December 6, 2010



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Maturity is wanting nothing but what we see with the purity of our heart. – Hugh Prather

I have not been writing because I have been experiencing peace and balance in my life. This is the longest I’ve probably ever gone without creating a crisis and I’d say it’s been about ten days.

I realized something the other day that really blows my mind; living doesn’t hurt any more. The wounds are healing.

I live in a different world today and I am a different person and I am so grateful for that. Today, I am a person that the old me would have absolutely hated. I’m everything that I always believed that I never wanted to be. I can see now that all of that anger and non-conformity was really a mask for my pain from tremendously low self-esteem. Rather than admit that I felt so less-than, I just lashed out and hated everyone and told myself that I didn’t want to be a “part of.”  I’m finally “a part of” my own life.

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Uncharted Waters

January 18, 1992


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