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Posts Tagged ‘Attitude’

Maturity is wanting nothing but what we see with the purity of our heart. – Hugh Prather

I have not been writing because I have been experiencing peace and balance in my life. This is the longest I’ve probably ever gone without creating a crisis and I’d say it’s been about ten days.

I realized something the other day that really blows my mind; living doesn’t hurt any more. The wounds are healing.

I live in a different world today and I am a different person and I am so grateful for that. Today, I am a person that the old me would have absolutely hated. I’m everything that I always believed that I never wanted to be. I can see now that all of that anger and non-conformity was really a mask for my pain from tremendously low self-esteem. Rather than admit that I felt so less-than, I just lashed out and hated everyone and told myself that I didn’t want to be a “part of.”  I’m finally “a part of” my own life.

Unmasked Excerpt

Uncharted Waters

January 18, 1992

 

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Don’t ask the world to change – you change first. – Anthony DeMello

My attitude towards Dad is changing a lot. That’s what trips me out about recovery: you dream of all of these things that would require miracles to happen and then realize that what’s really required is a change in yourself in order to accept life on life’s terms. Guess what?  Accepting life on life’s terms is the miracle.

The truth is that life is good and everything is okay the way it is. Now, to get to a state of mind where you can see that is a miracle. I never dreamed in a million years that beyond forgiving Dad, I would realize that I was wrong in blaming him. I’m grateful for all of this because it’s giving me something that I’ve needed for a long time, the respect for Dad that he deserves.

My prayers really are being answered. My faith is strong right now and my willingness to change is at a very high level. I look forward to these changes because the more I change, the better my life seems to get.

Who needs fame when plain old life turns out to be not plain at all?  Life really is a gift. Thank you, God!

Unmasked Excerpt

Broken

April 10, 1991

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