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Archive for the ‘Unmasked Excerpt’ Category

It has been revealed to me that the love I feel for others is God’s love for them, and for me. On the other hand, the hatred that arises within me belongs to the adversary. I must realize that the people that provoke bitterness and hatred are the people that are being especially attacked; and need extra prayer. The Lord told me to be vigilant about this and to immediately respond to all anger and negativity with prayer.

Unmasked Excerpt

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Free Indeed

One evening of the Kairos weekend, I was awakened with the words “Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord” in my head; and throughout the weekend the words “The wisdom of the world is the foolishness to God” kept crossing my mind. The final morning of the weekend, as I was reading Oswald Chamber’s “My Utmost for His Highest,” the voice within me spoke forcefully, “THE GOSPEL IS TRUE! THE POWER IS IN THE GOSPEL.”  

A few hours later, I went for a drive in the country. Since I didn’t know the radio stations in the area, I searched the glove compartment of my husband’s car and found an unmarked copy of a Rich Mullins CD. I had no idea what it was, but put it in so I could listen to something. Just as I drove past a small church, the song “Creed” began to play as I read the words on the church sign, “Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?” (1 Corinthians 1:20)  

Immediately I felt as if streams of love and light were raining on me inside the car. I pulled over to the side of the road as the words; “I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible. And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God” began to burst from within my soul. I sat at the side of the road for over an hour; crying the words, “I believe it … I believe it!” At last, I was free indeed.

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Imagine 

LET EVERYTHING BLOSSOM; NOT YANK THE PETALS YOURSELF. HOLD YOUR VISIONS, BUT DON’T HOLD ON TO THEM. IT IS GOD’S JOB TO BRING THEM INTO MANIFESTATION.  

HOLD YOUR DREAMS IN YOUR HEART AND WRITE THEM DOWN. IT IS GOD’S GOOD PLEASURE TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM.  

THE WAY GOD’S HIGHEST IDEALS ARE PROJECTED TO EARTH IS THROUGH HIS CREATIONS: US! NEVER MINIMIZE THE POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS, BUT KNOW THAT GOD RESIDES WAY BEYOND YOUR THOUGHTS OR CONSTRUCTS.  

GOD IS NOT YOUR MIND, BUT USES IT AS A MEDIUM TO COMMUNICATE HIS IDEALS. HOWEVER, THE WAY TO MANIFEST THEM IS TO FOCUS ON THE PRESENT MOMENT AND TO BE ABSOLUTELY HONEST WITH ONESELF. JUST LIKE IN SPORTS, THE EYE MUST BE KEPT ON THE BALL, GOAL, ETC., BUT THE FOCUS IS INTERNAL: WITHIN THE PLAYER.

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One

I woke up this morning with the words “The Kingdom of Heaven is Within You” bursting inside of me; and then I realized that we are to live our lives from the inside out. It is our job to bring forth everything that is within us; what we don’t will destroy us. I saw in the mirror clearly in order to see that the mirror is self and beyond it is eternal God. Self must be transformed, but after the crucifixion is true celebration. We are meant to be Higher Powered and we are meant to be one.

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Unveiling 

Jesus is bigger than religion. Abstract concepts of God (the Godhead, ground of being, Father/Mother, etc.) all express concepts of the fact that God is indescribable. God has to be experienced to really be understood. Jesus is the only One who can get us past the veil of self and save us from its bondage.

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Shadows

I want to believe that to try and fail is hopeful, but there is something deep within me that still believes that to fail is to be a loser. My deepest fear is that this is the truth of me. What is this thing within me that will not let me rest in peace?

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Getting to the core (allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to really love) is very painful to me. On a deep, deep, level, I still have the idea that I’m just not enough. I have faith, though, that this is being worked out.  

I regret that I have been less than compassionate with depressed people at the group because I had forgotten what it was like to be paralyzed. It’s not so easy to put one foot in front on the other when all you want to do is lay down.

I know that this too shall pass. The sun is still shining behind the clouds. Sometimes it is just hard for me to accept that life is difficult.

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Truth

I cried to God that I am powerless and He told me that I have all the power I need; I have just been using it to try to control others. Ouch! … but true. If recovery is about owning the lies we tell ourselves, wouldn’t the ultimate thing be to own the truth?

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Authentic spirituality is not so much about the death of self as it is about the transformation of self into the nature and likeness of Jesus; He turns water into wine. This is the final surrender, but our awareness of being separate from others remains intact because we are meant to be a family; not just become one with the “One,” break the cycle of birth and death, or even just go to Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven is within. This story will not end until the Utopian Garden of Eden is restored on earth and inhabited by the universal priesthood.

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Stand

On some level I have believed all anger was “wrong.” Last night I prayed and asked what to do with my anger and I was told “USE IT TO TAKE RIGHT ACTION.”  

The other day I had an intense meditation where I hit a deep pocket of old pain. I asked what it was and I was told that it was my “FEAR OF BEING OPEN AND VULNERABLE.” I thought that meant I had a fear of being open and vulnerable in a sweet sort of way; like I do with my husband sometimes. I now realize that it is also a fear of speaking up and standing up for the truth.  

I understand in the program that when we are “defending our rights” we are usually rationalizing, but I think that this is different; it is older. It is more like standing up and defending what is right: period.

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