Paige Thomas DeHart

To serve or not to serve: that is the question.

I recently read an article discussing the sacrifices that “servers” make. It brought back memories because I was a server for 17 years.
When I began in that industry at age 17, my attitude towards the customers was “eat your food and get out of my section.” My objective was to turn my tables as quickly as possible.

Needless to say, with an attitude like that, I began as a terrible server and employee. I will never forget when I had the realization that my job was to be as hospitable as possible and to cheerfully meet the needs of my customers: not the best job for an angst-filled adolescent that hates everyone; including herself.

However, surrendering to what my inner self had revealed as my job description took me on a long and beautiful journey towards becoming a people person. Being a server taught me to act my way into right thinking; because as time went by, I began to truly care for the people I served. I still do, but my service is different these days. I am now a substance abuse counselor in the criminal justice system and a Yogi both on an off the mat.

I have had customers, and employers, berate me, humiliate me, and make me cry, but I have also seen how meeting rudeness with kindness and respect can change a person’s demeanor. The bottom line is that we either treat people the way we want to be treated ourselves; or we don’t. We are either committed to being of service to the whole; or we’re not. THIS is the true choice of what we do with our “free” will.

Those of us who choose self-service are not evil or even self-centered, but confused and broken. A Course In Miracles says that everything is either an act of love or a cry for help. My many years as a public servant has proved that to be true.

My spiritual, academic, and professional journeys have taught me many things about human nature. The problem with arrogant people is that they look upon others with the same disdain with which they secretly condemn themselves. Those that treat others as if they are invisible do so to hide their own deep feelings of inadequacy.

This whole deal with covid and the protests has reminded me of many things. It has brought recollections of the “servants” who raised me. I was a rich, white, preppy in the 70’s who was raised by my housekeeper. My childhood trauma issues kept me from developing full-blown affluenza, but I clearly remember that the woman who seemed to care for me the most was the housekeeper who combed my hair, gave me rides, and even chased me around the pool when she caught me with weed. I know today as a mother myself that she was serving in the role as mother; and she did it well.

I have learned that the world in which I live is a reflection of what I am. If I am arrogant and prideful, I see others as beneath me or inferior. I betray myself with that attitude. However, when I look deeply at others, I see them as the teachers that they are. It is the homeless and the addicts, the criminals and the mentally “ill” who have taught me who and what I am. The mean-spirited have taught me who and what I am not.

Jesus did not exalt himself with flowing robes and motorcades. He washed his disciples’ feet to show the meaning of servant leadership and humility. So, the next time we are tempted to look down our noses at someone else, let us remember that things are not what they seem; and your “servant” may be your Master.

Om Shanti Shanti
PTD ✝️🌷🕉