Paige Thomas DeHart

I have had three abortions; and I have thrown myself on the living room floor and cried out to God for the life of my 18-year-old daughter; who had been shot in the head and dumped on a dead-end road. God was with me in all of those situations; and He is with me now. I am Pro-Choice and Pro-Life.

For me, to be Pro-Choice is not to be Pro-Abortion; as being Pro-Life does not mean being Anti-Choice. And I believe I am qualified to inform concerning the mental and emotional state of many women in that position of choice. We were terrified; so much that we may have aborted the children ourselves!

I do not argue that my unplanned pregnancies of youth were not irresponsible. However, I can attest that the motives behind the abortions were driven by magnified fears; fear that the baby would be damaged due to my drug use, fear that my family would disown me if they found out, and, most terrifying, fear that I was totally inadequate to be a human being, much less a parent.

The greatest joy of my life is being a mother; and the greatest regrets are interrupting the lives of the three souls that were making their way to me. So, I know the wonders of motherhood and the consequences of fear-driven decisions. But I also know that God does not hold my poor decisions against me.

I have spent many long hours with God; hashing out the emotional fall-out of my choices. In the first ten years after the abortions, I was led to name my unborn children and release them into the loving arms of Jesus. But as my relationship with God and my worldview have matured, I have been assured that, in God’s world, my poor choices never happened. They never happened; and I believe that the souls that were making their way to me have indeed arrived as my precious daughters.

There is a principle in Physics that states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. God has assured me that it is the same with Life. I may have made better decisions if I had been lovingly offered alternatives. And I have counseled many women in that decision-making process. Some made the choice to have their babies; and some did not. I know for sure that the ones who had their baby were not disappointed.

So, if you want to help women in that terrifying, decision-making process, be pro-adoption if you want. But don’t forget to be pro-love. Please don’t underestimate the shame and vulnerability of young women making hard choices; and please understand that loud shouts against abortion only cause further despair in the women who have had them. As my old friend Emmet Fox once said, “We are not punished for our sins, but by them.”