Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you. – Saint Augustine
My life is moving in a direction of greater accountability and responsibility, but I cannot be hyper-responsible for everything. Lately, I’ve been acting with responsibility, but becoming painfully aware that I am absolutely powerless over outcomes.
I have been having surges of feeling depressed and anxious, but I think I am afraid because I am moving toward my goals and starting to get a glimpse of the pressure that is involved with this sort of thing. When you have a public life, many people do not love you, but assassinate your character. I am afraid of failing.
I guess the good news is that it does not matter what happens because the accomplishment of my goals is God’s deal. The world does not need my contribution; I need to make it as an act of my own creativity. I guess that is what Richard Bach meant in Illusions when he said that we can write a beautiful story or tear the pages. I do not have to do anything. I sometimes take all of this and myself too seriously.
GEE, PAIGE, YOU THINK?
Anyway, I am getting in touch with my nature to sabotage my successes. I am still more fearful than I realized. I guess this is a good way for me to see just exactly how much I need God.
PAIGE, IF A SHADOW LOOMS BEFORE YOU, YOU HAVE TURNED YOUR BACK TO THE LIGHT.
Unmasked Excerpt
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