Paige Thomas DeHart

If you have become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. – Oswald Chambers

I am having a real experience with Steps Six and Seven. For example, I can really see how my persuasive arguing harms my husband. It invalidates him. My motive behind it is absolute fear of vulnerability. The recent inventory revealed that I have been literally driven by the fear of rejection, confrontation, abandonment, being alone, vulnerability, and not being able to take care of myself. This has led to approval seeking, people pleasing, and extreme attempts to be the center of attention. 

The bottom line is that somehow I have deeply believed that I am some sort of monster and without the validation from another human being, I’m dead. That’s sad.

However, I am really starting to see that those beliefs are lies. Unfortunately, the only way to confirm this is to risk rejection, abandonment, vulnerability, and confrontation and to take care of myself by setting boundaries and telling the truth and by letting my husband to have his experience that I am not directing. That means risking being in his life without trying to make myself indispensable; just being in the relationship to be.

Unmasked Excerpt