“Your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.” – Kahlil Gibran
This week has been a rude awakening for me. I get to see how I thrive on crisis: how I love to coax unreasonable men into reasonableness; how I find self-worth in “fixing” other people; how I play God. This whole week had been uncomfortable because my husband has been embracing life rather than resisting it. Immediately I began resisting him, trying to keep the turmoil in action … trying to find some sort of balance.
All of this makes me frantic because I’m seeing that I still have issues; that I suffer from a disease that tells me I don’t have one. My first reaction is to beat up on myself for not being perfect or shame myself because I’m not. Ego! Spiritual Pride! Cocky Self-Assurance! Get behind me, Satan! I guess the bottom line is that God has a gentle way of reminding me that He’s God; not me.
It seems that the deeper I go I find new levels where I have not yet come to believe that I am lovable and worthy. I’m willing, though.
GUESS WHAT? YOU’RE NOT SUPER-HUMAN. YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE. YOU NEED ME AND YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO LOVE YOU. YOU NEED HIM JUST AS MUCH AS HE HAS NEEDED YOU. IT’S OKAY TO NEED PEOPLE.
I feel like such a fool. I can be so grandiose and self-centered.
PRECIOUS CHILD, IT JUST DOESN’T GET ANY BIGGER ON PLANET EARTH THAN BEING A CHILD OF GOD. I LOVE YOU. EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE. RELAX. SURRENDER. LET GO.
I found my security in believing that he needs me to help him and to fix him and to save him. I guess I just realized that he does need me still, but not because of what I can do for him, but for who I am to him. Not doing; being. How many times have I learned that? Our worth comes not from our actions, but from our inherent being. If true to ourselves, then good works just naturally flow. New ideas become old ideas which, when released, give birth to newer ideas ad infinitum. Life’s a trip!
Unmasked Excerpt
Paige Thomas DeHart 
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