Paige Thomas DeHart

“There are only two choices: integration and acceptance of our whole life story, or despair.” – Eric Erikson

I did something wrong and he’s angry and I felt all of those feelings like I’m a total failure, like I’m worthless, and like I’ll never be good enough. Who told me that I wasn’t supposed to make mistakes? It’s more of that letting go of my old ideas thing. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to be me.

I realize that growing up, I was told in words that I was better than everyone else, but because of actions toward me, I felt worthless. That’s very confusing. I need to remember more things from my childhood. One thing I know for sure: I am not the person whom I have been told that I am. I still have to have arguments with myself to convince me that I’m not a bad person. I must realize that it is not being wrong that does the damage, but being unaware that I am wrong. All of these new tapes are so different.

I also realize that I have grown up believing that I am unworthy of forgiveness.

Excerpt page 142