Paige Thomas DeHart

“God knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” – Jesus
I had a good weekend; a sober weekend. I feel pretty good. I’m comfortable with myself. There are many things that need to change, but I have faith that they will. I’m just sort of taking it one character defect at a time.

I realized that Troy mirrors the negative things I believe about myself and that my new friends mirror the more healthy things I believe about myself. I guess what I want is for Troy to mirror the new beliefs, but that’s approval seeking and I’m learning that I never get approval from others until I stop seeking it.

There are so many paradoxes. When you desire something and pray for it, if you believe that you receive it, you’ll get it; but it seems to me that it’s only when you become willing to not have it—or even better yet, when you don’t have the desire for it anymore. I guess it’s because you have to be okay with where you are and what you already have before you can get something new or different.

Only God can fix me; with my cooperation.

Excerpt page 135