Paige Thomas DeHart

“Love knows not it’s own depth until the hour of separation.” – Khalil Gibran

We finally closed the case on my daughter’s shooting this week; for which I am truly grateful. However, the closure has also brought back painful and poignant memories.

I am flooded with recollections of the day that JPS called me for notification of next of kin; urging me to come to the ICU immediately. I know in retrospect that they were calling with urgency because they believed that she was going to die. I remember her swollen body with the right side of her head blown open. The doctor told me that there was not enough skin to cover the wound; that he was doubtful that the graft would work. I remember her hands with half of her acrylic nails torn off. I cut the remaining nails off and cleaned the blood from underneath her real nails. I remember the drag marks on her thighs and feet. I imagined the horror of her experience.

Yet I also remember the holiness of the presence of God. Visitors would ask in shock how I could handle the situation. All I saw was my beautiful child; more vulnerable than the day she was born. God’s first words to me in 1986 were “I am with you always.” He has been faithful to His word; and most faithful through our family’s horrific tragedy.

I also remember the joy of the miracles; the truck driver who took the time to investigate a lifeless form; the celebration of a community that joined in prayer to save the life of a precious, lost child of God. I trust in the God of infinite mercies.

As I reflect on these myriad memories and imaginings, God is showing me that the multiple fractures in my heart become facets similar to diamonds. He gently pieces the broken shards together again; to create jewels that shine for Himself and others. All the pain and joy of this experience, and my life, are used to create something beautiful within me; if I will cooperate and not recoil or attempt to soften the vicissitudes of life.

God is reminding me that each moment of our lives is a crossroad between light and darkness; that each time we choose love over hatred, hope over despair, and light over darkness, we add jewels to the crown of life for all.
I trust in this beautiful and holy God. And I believe that His love endures forever and His kingdom has no end.

Thanks to all who were a part of this.

Namaste and Amen

The Journey Continues 

January, 2017