Paige Thomas DeHart

I see trees of green, red roses, too,

I see them bloom, for me and you

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white,

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

When I was eighteen years old, I wrote in my journal that it was hard to grasp the fact that I had outgrown everything that was once important to me.  It would have been considerate for God to have sent me a telegram at that time to inform me to fasten my seatbelt; but I guess that realization in itself was the beginning of such In-sight.

Yesterday, my oldest daughter turned 27. Now that my children are grown, I find myself becoming nostalgic on their birthdays; reflecting on their lives and mine; remembering with joy and marvel the day that they entered my life to teach me one of my most important roles.  But the role of “Mommy,” like all of the many roles I have played, has its season.  I am definitely in the Autumn of my life.

Meister Eckhart said that “God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.” The Hindus call this subtraction the Path of Renunciation. Jesus calls it dying to self.  The older I become, the more I understand this, but I also see that the “additions”, the forming of my “self,” was absolutely necessary before any true renunciation could begin.  The roles I have played have systematically revealed to me my truest Self in that they have shown me who and what I am not.  For how can I be something that has a season; that is not eternal?

In my journals, I have said that I have found myself in the midst of Tupperware, the fellowship of 12 step programs, of church, in the midst of family, of career, of passion. I have found myself to lose my self that I may find my Self; the eternal spark of Love within that stands in eternity and shouts “Yes!” to all of my experiences; the joyful and the sorrowful.

I hear babies crying. I watch them grow.

They’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know

So it’s Autumn now, and I once again wave goodbye to so many things that have given rich meaning to my experience. I don’t have to keep playing the roles once the roles’ experiences have become a part of my soul’s texture.  As this subtraction continues, I am left only with Love and Peace and Gratitude that seek to find Themselves in others.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,

Are also on the faces of people going by.

I see friends shaking hands, saying’, “How do you do?”

They’re really saying’, “I love you.” – George David Weiss, George Douglass, Bob Thiele

And I think to my Self, what a wonderful world … what a wonderful life …what a wonderful God.

The Journey Continues

October 1, 2014