Paige Thomas DeHart

The following is dedicated to raise awareness concerning addiction and mental illness: posted in loving memory of Robin Williams and all who have lost their lives or are suffering from mental illness and/or addiction.

It’s not that we fear the place of darkness, but that we don’t think we are worth the effort to find the place of light. – Hugh Prather

I feel terrible right now. I’m so depressed and suicidal again. I need to be in a hospital, but I have my doubts that it will happen. The realization of how sick I am is overwhelming. I am a very sick woman and I don’t seem to be getting any better. My relationships don’t work because of my mental illness and neither does my life. I know that the Twelve Steps have helped people that were as sick as I am, but I still don’t have very much hope. I keep winding down more and more. Once again, I’m caught in the downward spiral. I literally don’t want to get out of bed at this point. I can’t feel any joy. It seems like the whole world is enjoying life without me.

I wish so much that I hadn’t taken that drink, but I’ve got to admit that I feel so bad that I could do it again. But now I see what they mean – there’s no situation so bad that taking a drink won’t make it worse. This too shall pass. I need God. I need support. I need professional help. A sick mind does not heal itself.

Unmasked Excerpt

Dark Valley

August 17, 1989