Paige Thomas DeHart

You cannot discover new oceans until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. – Anonymous

I’ve really been going through it with my daughter.  Who knew that having “grown” kids is more painful and difficult than having little kids?  It really makes me feel for Mom.  My daughter is doing okay, but she is definitely not living the life that I had imagined for her.  Watching her wander to find her way reminds me of my 20’s – and makes me realize how utterly painful it must have been for Mom.  I remember that one of the reasons that her husband did not like me was because of the way I caused Mom to worry.  I get it now.  My pain over my daughter is consuming at times.  I know that all I can do is put her in God’s hands, but it is more painful to watch people you love go through the pain of maturation than going through it yourself.  Like I said, who knew?

There are still a ton of “who knew?’ moments out there for me.  I am just beyond the place of fantasy.  I used to think that I had it all figured out – that I knew exactly what was to come.  Now I know that the best is yet to come, but I have no idea what that looks like – it may even look like a catastrophe.  I am beyond the age that movies and romance novels are made of.  I am a mature woman – on the inside out.  Who knew?  God knew and knows.

The Journey Continues

November 1, 2008